Today was probably one of the best Sunday's I've had in awhile. Since you died on a Sunday, I was pretty sure I would never be able to enjoy that day of the week ever again. But, as time goes on, I am starting to find a little more peace and acceptance of the situation I have found myself in. I try to keep myself busy and surrounded by nature, beauty, and fun, positive people, especially on the weekends when I tend to get lonely.
Finding myself at almost 30 years old and having to essentially start my life all over again from scratch has left me feeling helpless. Not to mention I don't have the one person in my life who helped steer me in the right direction whenever I needed guidance. The day you died, you took so much more than you. You took our future, our life, our plans, and half of me. Half of my heart, half of my soul, and half of "we." Now I am left with nothing, with nowhere to go, and my head spins at the thought of "where do I go from here?"
Today though, was one of those days where I found myself feeling peaceful, basking in the sun, running through the sand, smiling, laughing, and playing on the beach with company you would have enjoyed. I am making a lot of new friends. I wish you were here to meet them. I always think to myself, "Eric would totally get along with them." And I feel sad they will never get to know you, the man I was so proud to call my husband.
I hope that, wherever you are, that you are looking down on me, happy and smiling. I hope I am making you proud, because that's all I ever wanted to do. Because that's what you always did for me. And so much more.
I know you wouldn't want me to hate Sundays, because that was always our favorite day. It was hard for me at first, but I am really trying to love things again, the way I know you would have wanted me to. I hope I'm doing right by you.
Love Always,
your babygirl~
Beach Sundays with your best friend
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