Tonight I did something I shouldn't have. Please forgive me. Lindsey came over to our apartment to help me pack our room. (I still can't bring myself to take your clothes out of the closet though.) Anyway, she parked on our street when she came over. When we were done, I drove both of us back to mom's in my car to check on Max. She stayed for a few hours, we ate and talked and took the baby for a walk.
Anyway, it started to get late and she said she was parked on 12th, so I offered to drive her to her car. of course, I asked Max if he wanted to come, and of course he did. then I realized Lindsey meant she parked on OUR street, and not on 12th. when I pulled up to her car, Max was intensely staring at our house from the backseat with a look on his face I will never forget. We have been doing so good. I've tried not to say "Daddy" around him, (you know how his ear perk up when you say that!) or take him near our street our our house. I haven't brought him to our house since the day we found you. It's not that I want him to forget about you, it's just that I don't want to confuse him anymore than he already is. This whole thing has been so stressful on both of us. Anyway, when we drove away, he kept looking back, then at me, then back at the house, as if to say, "Wait, where are you going? What about Daddy? That's OUR house!" I shouldn't have brought him with us in the car, I don't know what I was thinking. I feel like I scarred him. I'm so sorry babe. I didn't mean to. I don't know what he thinks, but I'm sure he has a pretty good idea that Daddy isn't here anymore. He misses you so much. We both do.
Love Always,
Your Babygirl~
and Max Bug
you & Max on the boat on Lake Travis in Austin. what a fun day that was! remember how bad Max had to pee when we got off the boat? I still laugh about that!
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